It’s About Damn Time

by Meredith on December 7, 2017

It’s easy to forget all the garbage Donald Trump tweets because he spends so much time cultivating bullshit from his Twitter account. So as a fun reminder, on November 24th he tweeted this:

And then Time Magazine was all like, WE NEVER CALLED HIM, YOU GUYS! 

And then the Chief Content Editor of Time said he flat out lied.

It was awesome. Once again we caught him in a lie! Maybe pretty soon people will start to see what the majority of us see. He’s unstable, unpresidential, incapable, and an embarrassment to the United States.

Anyway, today I woke up and everything got even better! Time Magazine named The Silence Breakers the People of the Year.  The announcement gave me goosebumps. The good kind. Victims got the cover. The predator got pie in his stupid face.

I feel this shift happening. Can you feel the change, ladies? Finally. They’re finally paying attention to what our mother’s mothers have been saying all this time. I truly feel like God put these women on the planet at this time in history to make these changes. We can use our voices to continue their hard work, and maybe one day soon we will actually be equal in this world.

But then… then, something weird began happening on the internet.

For some reason, these women who I admire and respect –– for some damn reason, some of them thought Taylor Swift just wasn’t enough of a victim to grace the cover of Time Magazine.

Ke$ha should be here. I agree. But you know what? The lack of Ke$ha, doesn’t take away from Taylor’s experience.

*Quick reminder, Taylor was groped under her skirt by a skeezy radio DJ who had a reputation for groping young women. She complained. He got fired. HE SUED HER because he was fired. She won. She fought him for all the women who have been and would have been sexually assaulted by this creep.

Still, I’m disappointed Ke$ha wasn’t there with her. But that doesn’t mean Taylor Swift didn’t have her own experience after she blew the whistle on some asshole who assaulted her. Point being, there is room on that cover for more women who blew the whistle. I wholeheartedly agree with you. But don’t diminish any woman who has come forward.

I’m sorry that it took white women coming forward to push the #MeToo movement that black women began so long ago. I really, truly am sorry. Thank you. Every woman thanks you (even the women who think the whole movement is stupid are thankful – they just haven’t put it together yet that you have been fighting for them, too). Thank you, Tarana Burke.

But listen, Taylor Swift backlash just makes more women not blow the whistle. Somewhere a young girl is watching this and thinking, “Well, it was just a hand up my skirt. That doesn’t really count.” We can’t decide who has a more valuable story. We can’t be judge and internet jury on whose assault was the worst assault. THEY. ALL. SUCK.

If you broke silence, you’re a silence breaker. This cover is for you. If you aren’t ready yet, you’re the elbow on the cover. 

We’re here. We’ve arrived.

This is how we make our mark for future generations of women.

This is how we change the world.

Can you feel the shift happening?

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Stop Mourning Matt Lauer

by Meredith on November 30, 2017

WOMAN 1: I’m just sad because I love Matt Lauer, and I am mourning the decisions of a man I loved.

WOMAN 2: It’s so sad when you find out someone isn’t who they said they were. I’m going to need some time to sort out my feelings about Matt. It’s normal for people to need time when you find out your friend did something bad. 

WOMAN 3: I’m #TeamMatt for life. He’s a good guy! And you don’t know if any of these claims are true! Women do falsely accuse men, you know. It must be scary to be a man right now. One false accusation from a bitter ex and your life is ruined!  

WOMAN 4: I feel bad for Hoda and Savannah. I can’t believe they blindsided them like that. You can tell they feel bad for the victims but still care deeply for Matt and were trying to process everything on live TV! 

***

Please stop saying you’re mourning the loss of who you thought Matt Lauer was. Or Louie CK. Or Al Franken. Or whoever. You didn’t know them. You know who knew them? The women they tormented.

I repeat, YOU 👏 DO 👏 NOT 👏 KNOW 👏 THESE 👏 MEN.

Every single time you show any sympathy towards these men, I take it personally. And I am 100% certain I’m not the only woman who wasn’t believed when she reported workplace harassment. It’s another slap in the face for us. You’re mourning a stranger who made life hell for someone he actually knew very well in his personal/work life.

It happened to me. And after I blew the whistle on him, an investigation launched that took FOR-EV-ER because no one believed me. They had to “make sure” because he was a “top performer”. I had to go to work and see my harasser every single day. And there was no way to avoid working on projects with him. So not only did I see him, I had to work with him every. single. day.

Because of the investigation, he knew I told our bosses what he did. And that just made him 100 times worse to be around. Suddenly, I became a real threat. He would say shitty things to me when no one was listening constantly like, “Do you have a problem with me still? Because you’ll go before me.”

Everything started falling apart because I told on him. I cried daily with my office door shut. I hated my life. I hated my job. I had no self respect. I drank too much. My performance at work fell off. I was a shit wife. I almost got a divorce.

But I just kept hanging on because I knew I needed to make amends for all the women who quit their jobs because of him. I knew I had to get this done for all the women who still worked there. I refused to let them down again. And I didn’t care if it cost me my job.

They finally believed me when I started recording and documenting every conversation I had with my harasser. Let that sink in: To make a safe workplace for me and the other women, I had to bring the receipts. It was the only way.

But it was too late for me. I lost so much respect for some of the people I worked with because after they finally did something about it, they felt sorry for the guy because “he was a long time friend”.

Really? You feel bad for this creep? And you’re openly talking to me about what a great friend he was to you, how bad you feel for him, and how you miss him? Can you please tell me how I ruined his life some more? Tell me again how “boys will be boys”. I love these little office chats we have.

The women at NBC have a similar story – HR wasn’t going to do anything other than alert the asshole, thus making their life worse. They were investigation Matt for months. I can tell you exactly why it all came out yesterday – the victims in the office couldn’t take working with this asshat anymore and leaked it to the press.

THIS 👏 IS 👏 WHY 👏 WOMEN 👏 DON’T 👏 ALWAYS 👏 REPORT.

It’s a fucking dramatic hassle that takes over your life. It’s easier to suck it up and allow it to happen. At least your job is secure and you won’t have to face the awkwardness of working together after a complaint is filed.

These men are showing their true predatory colors, as predatory men have done for all of history. They’re real smooth talkers.

photo credit: NBC

And I promise you, no one was surprised. Every woman, in every workplace in America, can identify the creeps. That shock and sadness was all an act. Hoda and Kathie Lee both continue to proclaim their love for Matt Lauer. And that’s a pretty shitty thing to do in front of his victims. Trust me. 

If you want to be sad about something, mourn the women whose careers have been ruined for blowing the whistle. We need your sisterhood right now.

Matt Lauer is just another bag of dicks who happens to read the news to you on a teleprompter.

You don’t know him. His victims know him.

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Zulily, Use Plus Sized Models

January 9, 2017

Listen, Zulily. You’re failing in the Plus Sized Department. This chick is not Plus Sized. She’s a tiny person. This lady? Beautiful woman, but she’s not a big beautiful woman. You came a tad bit closer here. The lady on the left is your version of Plus Sized (she’s maybe a size 8 at best?). […]

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Facebook Pokes

January 8, 2017

I’m not sure why this is still a “thing”. But FOR FUCK’S SAKE, STOP POKING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK! It’s always men. Always. It feels like you’ve just grabbed my ass. It’s creepy. It serves no purpose other than to seem like a whiney bitch, “Pay attention to me!” For what? Why am I supposed to […]

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Launching Podcasts

January 5, 2017

In case you missed it, I’m back in podcast-land. Years ago, Brittany Gibbons and I had a show. We brought it back! This time it’s more like an NPR show. I’m kidding. We never verify anything we say like real reporters would, it’s more explicit than ever, and we’re more day-drunk than anyone working for NPR. Listen […]

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The Adderall Dilemma

January 4, 2017

di·lem·ma noun 1. a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones. Cons: It makes me crave cigarettes, and I hate smoking. I don’t like taking pills every day. I don’t like the stigma attached to taking Adderall or ADD medications in general. Pros: […]

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Hello, 2017

January 3, 2017

I’ve been telling myself blogging is dead (and to some extent it is – literally publishing a message on any other form of social media is easier than publishing a blog post). But I miss writing, and I’m paying for the hosting. Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class has been teaching Shaun and me that we […]

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This will go in history down as my best idea… or my worst.

July 27, 2016

This is a post about money. Talking about money is rude. But when have you ever known me to be polite? Zero times. Right now I’m paying a social media manager, a nanny, a few part-time graphic designers, some part-time photographers, my mom (she keeps the books), and my dad (he’s my driver because I suck so […]

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Five Podcasts To Get You Into Podcasts

April 13, 2016

The other day I had to explain to my mom what the word “podcast” means (which is hilarious since years ago I co-hosted a fairly successful one). Podcasts are these little bits of talk radio (for lack of a better description) that come in every genre you can imagine. Do you like funny stories? Perfect. NPR […]

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Skinny people get sick, too.

April 6, 2016

I thought I was having a heart attack. Or maybe a panic attack. But the more I sat there, wheezing, chest tight, arms numb – the more I realized I was probably going to die. This was it, I had finally worked myself to death. Putting in 80 hours a week had lead to… curtains. God […]

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