Just say no.

by Meredith on December 16, 2014

I’ve been doing this weirdly gratifying experiment. I’ve been telling people no whenever I don’t want to do something.

In fact, I think I’m starting to get off on telling people no. I’m obsessed!

Probably because I’ve spent so many years doing everything for others, that it finally feels right to be doing things for myself. I should have done this long ago.

You’ve really got to try it. So to help you, I’m giving you my most popular forms of rejection.

You’re welcome in advance.

Photograph_of_Mrs._Reagan_speaking_at_a_-Just_Say_No-_Rally_in_Los_Angeles_-_NARA_-_198584

1. This just isn’t a good fit for me. I don’t like it. 

Say this whenever something isn’t a good fit for you, and you just don’t like it.

The TV show was a bad fit for me. I didn’t enjoy it. It made me uncomfortable. It felt like a very demanding hobby. So I quit. I don’t even feel bad about it.

Ladies, I see so many of you keep men around for too long. Tell them they aren’t right for you and you don’t like them. Just be upfront, or you could be missing out on someone really great for you!

It’s okay to throw in the towel sometimes.

2. I don’t have time.

I turn down work like crazy. I just don’t have the time to do it.

There’s no sense in committing to something that you’re going to half ass, or worse, never even start working on it.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.

3. No. You’re not going to fuck me. Fuck you.

Sometimes you just have to tell folks to “fuck off”. If you don’t, they’ll keep messing with you.

And you don’t necessarily need to cuss to get this point across. What you can say is, “You’re being super stupid.” And then you make them feel super stupid for being so stupid.

I can give you, like, 80 examples of when to use this, but we don’t have all day. So here are just a few examples:

1. When someone owes you money: You may have to call your attorney for this – he probably is really good at “fuck you”.

2. When someone gets aggressive with you or your buddies: “Whoa! Are you getting loud with me? You’re being super stupid.”

3. When someone has been talking about you in a bad way: “Bye, Felicia.”

Don’t put up with this kind of garbage, folks.

4. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to learn.

You have to add the second part. People try to tell me they will teach me how to do things all the time. No. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to learn.

This is why I still don’t know how to send something via FedEx. I knew if I committed to learning how to fill out shipment forms, I would become the go-to FedEx girl for the office. So I never learned. I just didn’t want to deal with it.

5. You’ll be fine. You can totally handle it all by yourself.

Sometimes people just want you to do their work for them.

No! Tell them to do their own work!

6. Maybe you should try this other thing instead, and I will handle my business without you. 

People want what you’ve got. Especially if you open your own company and people get the impression that all you do for a living is play around on Facebook all day long.

These people clearly don’t understand that you have spent years perfecting your craft, and that you’re actually an expert in this space. So they should just stick with what they know. And you should just stick with what you know.

I like fashion. It doesn’t mean I should design clothes. Same goes for most people and any sort of digital media marketing. So I’ll do this job. And you keep doing your job. Unless you’re looking to become my assistant. Then I will teach you.

So no, I don’t want to teach you how to open your own agency, doing exactly what I do at my agency. #SorryNotSorry

7. If I take on one more project, my family will kill me.

If you don’t want to do something, this is the perfect excuse. Who can argue with family time? No one. That’s who.

Sorry, PTA.

8. Stop hounding me. I am never going to do this thing.

People don’t like rejection. So typically, they go away.

But every once in awhile, you run into someone who direct sells body wraps,  mascara, or meal supplements. These people don’t understand the word “no”. They are taught to “overcome rejection”.

You have to tell them straight up that you have zero desire in ever becoming “fitness coach”, even if it means you are missing out on six figures a year.

9. Drop off the face of the planet.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I just disappear. I am no longer on your radar.

I stop taking your calls, I won’t open your emails, I have maybe even unfriended you on Facebook.

I just want you gone. In a quiet way.

Totally works. And I no longer feel angsty whenever I see your name.

10. Just say no.

Because oftentimes, we don’t owe anyone an explanation for our decisions. Why do we feel obligated to make excuses? Just say no. Don’t even apologize after you say it.

Will you try it? Will you just say no?

 

{ 9 comments }

They gave me a list of questions to discuss with you guys. I’m throwing the list out the window. I want to explore the deeper meaning of this book. Because even if you didn’t read a single page, the deeper meaning really is something worth something talking about in any relationship and with yourself.

If you’re late to the party, we have been reading The Missing Something Club by William Haylon.

9780692026380_p0_v2_s260x420When I am asked to review something, I do it honestly. I feel like I owe it to my readers to not be a sell out (even if I was paid in wine and free downloads for you guys – I LOVE WINE).

So let’s start with the bad news first. After all, everyone’s a critic. In this case, a book critic.

Mr. Haylon needs an editor. Not in a Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey bad writing way, but just in a add-a-comma-after-names-when-you’re-addressing-someone kind of way.

Then again, I’m a comma whore. So yes, there are some typos. But you know what? It even didn’t matter.

Honestly, I loved this book.

I really became emotionally invested with these very flawed characters (who met once a week at a local pub to discuss why they were failing at life).

Here’s why they are all failing:

You can’t force love.

This was the entire theme, wrapped up neatly in one sentence, but when you read this ONE sentence in the book, you end up having a complete epiphany.

These characters were all fucked up, because each one of them made the same mistake in a variety of ways. They tried to force love (or someone else did) because they wanted it so badly (or because they were running from it). They would enter the wrong relationships, hoping everything would work out in the end.

Which is why, in my opinion, divorce rates are so high.

You can’t force love.

So don’t marry the wrong person or hang around because you think this is what your life should be.

You guys know I am a HUGE fan of working it out and staying married, but if you both aren’t willing to work at it, LEAVE. RUN. GO.

I guess, what I really took away from this book, was a deeper understanding of why some relationships don’t work, and will never work. Someone can’t want love more than the other person. Period.

Let’s See Which Character Best Describes You
(even if you did not read this book, I bet you can relate, or you have been with someone like this)

Tracy: She was the kind of girl so desperate for someone to pay attention to her, that she would mistakenly fall in love with someone she never met from online dating, and she would send naked selfies of herself to guys. She would also let people move in with her after a single in-real-life date. She rushed everything. Complete acts of desperation all the time. I KNOW SO MANY WOMEN LIKE THIS!

Charlie: She was sleeping around on her husband. Even though her husband was a great guy, and together they seemed to have it all, she just never really loved him. And by anyone’s standards, she had a perfect life. Kids. White picket fence. The whole nine yards. Yet? She was always looking for something else.

Jeremy: Work-a-holic. He never had time for a relationship. Then he was fired from his job and realized he had nothing. He couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be touched anymore.

Arthur: Arthur is old and wise. In his old age, he confessed that he never stopped thinking about the one who got away, even after 50 years of marriage.

Eric: His wife is pretty much his full-time prostitute. She sleeps with him for a roof over her head, and he takes care of her and her son in return. They literally do not talk to one another.

David: The player. He is super lonely. His hook-ups are often drunken, mean nothing, and no one is really good enough to keep around. He has a child he never sees from a very brief relationship.

Kate: Her husband left her after her 50th birthday for a younger woman. She had been a kept woman. Now she finds herself trying to navigate the world alone for the first time ever. As a result, she comes off very cold and bitter. Why? She’s your typical scorned woman.

Know anyone like these characters? Of course you do!

So what did you guys think of it? Did you like it? Do you relate to any of these characters?

{ 2 comments }

Meredith’s Drunk Book Club: The Missing Something Club by William Haylon

November 24, 2014

You guys! This is so much fun! Remember when I went on that dreadful talk show, hosted by that bitch, Katie Couric? Well, I made friends while I was there. Because, you know, when you decide to take down that bitch Katie Couric, you should probably form an army. Of course, I made friends with [...]

32 comments Read the full article →

Anxiety. The struggle is real… Alternate title: A Dozen Little Known Ways You Can Die

October 15, 2014

I guess I have anxiety. Living with anxiety seems fun and awesome. Especially since I have ADHD and my overactive brain is always on, only now it’s thinking about worst case scenarios. For example, I think the world will come to an end in our lifetime. I think about it obsessively, but I have always worried [...]

26 comments Read the full article →

The 15 Best Things About Working From Home

October 7, 2014

Theresa Lollis and I were chatting about all of the reasons why working from home is awesome. The conversation took place partly to keep up moral from our home offices (because it kind of does suck when you talk to your dog more than actual people some days) and partly out of truth (because some things [...]

9 comments Read the full article →

Leggings Are Not Pants

September 16, 2014

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 2,567 times. Leggings are not pants. I was hoping I would stop seeing this trend. But instead, I see more camel toe than I can stand on a daily basis. I see it at the grocery store, I see it at the bars, heck I even see [...]

17 comments Read the full article →

Takedown Culture

September 4, 2014

I’ve noticed something very disturbing in the past few years, and it just keeps getting worse. Social media has developed this nasty place of taking each other down. We love nothing more than to see a thread of comments, 152 deep, where people are ripping each other apart and being nasty. And when we show [...]

6 comments Read the full article →

#VoicemailsAreDumbStopLeavingThem

August 21, 2014

I don’t normally look this stressed out, but when I do, it’s because I have 1,383 unheard voicemail messages. No, for real, I am going to prove it to you: Stop it with the voicemails. I know I can’t be alone on this. #VoicemailsAreDumbStopLeavingThem

4 comments Read the full article →

Sex every single day? #GTFO.

August 18, 2014

Shaun: “Huh. Yet another woman is on the news who had sex every single day with her husband.” Me: “I call BS. And why is this even newsworthy? I’ll tell you why – because it’s unreal.” Shaun: “I want sex every single day.” Me: “Good luck with that.” There seems to be this new trend. Sex [...]

8 comments Read the full article →

The Medium

July 24, 2014

After a long talk with Shaun, I had decided not to make this a blog post and open it up for the entire world to see. There were personal and professional reasons for this. Instead, I wrote about this experience in this forum for women, and the questions kept rolling in. As the days have [...]

22 comments Read the full article →