And while I was one of the lucky ones, who received many job offers, and they all came very quickly and easily, I still spent about two weeks not going to work everyday. It sucks being out of routine. It’s scary. And it’s soul shaking.
I cannot believe I did this to people. So many people. I bet I’ve told close to a thousand people they no longer have a job. That is so crappy of me! I’m never doing that again. I will not fire people for money ever again. And if I did that to you, I am very sorry.
Anyway, I’ve spent the past two weeks in a wine and vodka fueled haze. It started out fun. I was going to interviews in the morning and day drinking in the afternoon with my equally unemployed pal (who quit at the same time as me, over the same issue as me). He was teaching me how to sell cars over Absolut and Sailor Jerry’s. I was mock interviewing him, and telling him how to answer all the hardest questions he would be asked, while reassuring him that he was great and would find an even better job.
But then this weird thing happened. My drinking buddy went back to the place we had just quit. I found out from other people, not from him, and I was just with him earlier the same day. I was shocked because I didn’t see that coming. More shocked now, since he’s since stopped speaking to me all together (I guess I no longer serve a purpose for him or his career – nice friend, right?).
My brain sorta exploded at that point. We were such good friends. Work BFFs. We ate lunch together and took coffee breaks together and grabbed beers together after work ALL THE TIME. I helped him in his career. He helped me with mine. We got promotions around the same time. We’re about the same age. But it was all a sham. A sham that Shaun Soleau called two years before, “You know he’s just using you, right? He’s pulling you closer and closer. I don’t mind him being your work BFF, but be careful with your heart. You’re in HR, and he wants to get to the top of that ladder.”
So what began as, OMG! THIS IS LIKE SPRING BREAK! WHICH JOB SHOULD I PICK?! YAY! MORE SHOTS!
Went to, Meredith, you have to let this go. Now get out of bed, and take a shower. You smell.
Clearly I wasn’t my fun self anymore, and all my closest friends saw it. They were concerned and stopping by “just to see how things were going”. My mom, Kendra, April, Lindsey, Andy, Candie, Jodi, Eric, Brittany, Audrey, Brooke, Becky, and of course Shaun, pulled me out of a messy-unemployment-funk. They screwed my head back on straight. Thanks to them, my armpits aren’t smelly, my legs are shaved again, and I’ve stopped doubting my employment decisions.
I guess the point of this is, unemployment sucks (even if you quit your job). Leaving a company feels a lot like a breakup. Which, I did not expect. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Except, it was a totally big deal. I didn’t realize how much I had identified myself as being an HR lady at this car dealership.
If you have a friend who recently lost a job, your friend is going through something super traumatic. You go find your friend, you drag her out of bed, and take her shopping (I’ve spent far too much money on new underwear, riding boots, ugly sweaters, and gummy bears these past two weeks… but it totally helped). If they want to cope with margaritas? Fine, hold her hair as she pukes. If she texts you crazy thoughts all day long, listen to them, and reply back to her that she’s being insane. Friends need to hear when they’ve lost their minds.
And sometimes? You just need to show up and do toe touches in her kitchen until she decides to laugh again.
But that’s it. I refuse to be pathetic for another second over this whole quitting-my-job-crap. It’s time to turn the page and reinvent myself.
Tomorrow I start my new job. I was going to go sell used cars, but I had a last minute offer come in on Friday, which was better! Yay for me!
I’m still going to be selling cars (because I’ve always wanted to do this), only now I’m going to Thayer Chevrolet in Bowling Green to sell Chevy’s!
I get to take all my internet and social media prowess, and apply it to sales. HELL. YES. And I don’t have to fire people for money anymore. EVEN. BETTER.
But I need all of you to help me!
Please “like” Thayer Chevy’s Facebook page. [CLICK HERE]
Even if you live far away, please “like” it. The page will be my voice, so it’ll be entertaining (now that I’m done feeling sorry for myself). But most importantly, with the way Facebook science works, I can boost things to your Facebook friends from that page. I’ll sell a car to any of your friends, even if they live out of state. And while I’m in your state, delivering this car, I’ll take you to dinner and allow you to stare at my glorious hair.
Finally, I need some leads. This is where being famous on the internet (for something other than porn) comes into play. The Thayer Family Dealerships pretty much sell everything. So if you know anyone looking for a Chevy, Ford, Nissan, Scion, Toyota, Honda, or pre-owned car, please send them my way.
My new email address is email@example.com. My cell phone number is (419) 266-0966. Contact me with some leads!
So that’s about it! The thirteen day bender is over! I start my new job tomorrow! And I couldn’t be happier!
Have you ever been unemployed? How did you handle it? If you’re unemployed now, please comment in the comment section! A lot of HR folks read this blog.
Let’s get you a job, sexy. It’s time you began shaving your legs again. Let’s get you back in the saddle.