Shaun Soleau is probably clicking on this post with pure terror in his heart.
Is my wife about to confess that she’s bored in our marriage?
Nope. I don’t get bored. I keep busy. And being married to me, as you can imagine, is a very busy thing. Even when Shaun Soleau wants to be lame (like hang out and play cards with his friends) and not do fun things that I want to do (like sing karaoke), I just drag him along with me, and force him to be fun.
But we are coming up on the dreaded Seven Year Itch.
Is the Seven Year Itch a real thing? I think it probably is.
According to Wikipedia:
The seven-year itch can be analyzed quantitatively. Divorce rates show a trend in couples that, on average, divorce around seven years. Statistics show that there is a low risk of separation during the first months of marriage. After those ‘honeymoon’ months divorce rates start to increase. Most married couples experience a gradual decline in the quality of their marriage, in recent years around the fourth year of marriage. Around the seventh year, tensions have risen to a point that couples either divorce or adapt to their partner.
If you don’t keep your marriage spicy, who will?
The answer is no one.
Shaun and I have been trying to make it a point to put each other first. We haven’t always done this. It took us years to figure out that if we put each other first, the rest falls into place from there, and even the kids are happier because of it. I’d rather be the gross make-out parents than the ones who got divorced. Or worse, the ones who stayed together, but should have been divorced.
Our marriage is far from perfect. FAR. But at least we’re still trying to be pals.
We go through phases, just like most marriages. Right now we are in the I-like-being-around-you-sort-of-ish phase. This is the phase immediately following the recent I-want-to-stab-you-in-the-eye-with-a-pen-and-then-maybe-set-you-on-fire phase.
We need to take a big trip. Alone. I want to run wild with my husband and sleep late.
One thing we are super good at as a couple (besides fighting and humping) is traveling. So when normal life gets overwhelming, I book us a trip to shake things up and remind him how much fun I am to hang out around (when I’m not wiping boogers off of the wall behind my son’s bed). I think it’s important to remind your husband that you are still the same girl who once blew him in the bathroom at The Village Inn while you were dating (this may or may not have happened, Mom).
These trips never involve our children. I know that sounds like we are bad parents, but really, I don’t care. How can we be good parents if we aren’t good to each other? And blowies are few and far between when you have kids looking at you from the other bed (Other Bed = Observation Deck).
One of the stops on our honeymoon cruise was St. Martin. We loved the French side of the Island (probably because Shaun is super proud of his French-ness), especially the Grand Case area. We’ve always wanted to go back for a week and have been eyeballing the Love Hotel for years. Without asking Shaun what he thought about it (because I don’t need his permission to make fun happen – and we have separate bank accounts), I just went ahead and booked us a weeks’ stay. I found a really good deal on what was already really affordable through booking.com.
The Love Hotel only has seven rooms. It’s super boutique-y. There are no TVs in the room because the owners don’t think you need to be watching TV while you’re staying with them. I like the way they think. The hotel even has a little bar downstairs that serves excellent French tapas and yummy Caribbean drinks.
This is going to be the perfect vacation for two sometimes best friends who super like getting drunk and hooking-up. It also gives us something to look forward to. A common goal, if you will.
As we enter the seventh year of our marriage, I’m going to be real with you and chronicle the ups and downs of the next year. A psychic told me were supposed to get divorced a few months ago. I came home and cried. Shaun made fun of me, and promised me we would prove her wrong. We will prove her wrong (eff off, Janet Amid!). So this marks the beginning of a new series called on the old blog called, The Seven Year Itch.
I hope you all enjoy this intimate peak inside of a real-life marriage. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You’ll see it all. And your feedback is super important, especially if you’ve been-there-done-that.
So tell me, do you believe in the Seven Year Itch? And how do you pull your partner back to you when you feel like you’ve drifted away from each other?