I’ve noticed something very disturbing in the past few years, and it just keeps getting worse.
Social media has developed this nasty place of taking each other down.
We love nothing more than to see a thread of comments, 152 deep, where people are ripping each other apart and being nasty. And when we show up to watch it all go down, we post funny little memes like this:
So even when we aren’t involved in the tearing down of others and their ideas, 152 comments deep, we want everyone to know that we are watching it go down like giant assholes with a bag of popcorn. We just have to put our two cents in, even if we don’t have a dog in the fight.
But why are we like this as a culture? Why do we want to see people fail?
As someone who puts so much out there on the internet, I’m often criticized for my opinions… and even my appearance. I expect it. I was the one who decided to build a business and a brand around social media. This comes with the territory.
But what about you? You didn’t expect to be beaten up online. And even though I expect it, it still blows.
Last week a very nice woman posted that she was done breastfeeding, and then a bunch of women jumped all over her.
It’s a little odd that we care so much about what others feed their babies. Don’t you think?
Anyway, I think this takedown culture is overflowing into our personal lives. Social media and everyday life are so intertwined, that we call each other and talk with our mouths, on the phone, and gossip about something we saw on Twitter.
Again, I am guilty of it myself. My husband pointed it out to me the other day.
Meredith, I know your feelings have been hurt. But damn, this isn’t the Real Housewives of Facebook. Enough. You’re better than this. Men don’t act this way. Why do women?
And you know what?
He’s right. Men typically do NOT act this way! This is a girl thing.
Which sucks because I’ve always been a girl’s girl. Until suddenly I realized that I was being the opposite of a girl’s girl… I was being a mean girl.
I need to change. The change is really freaking simple.
Are you ready?
If I don’t have anything nice to say, I’m not going to say anything at all.
I’ve created 10 rules I will now follow to be a less shitty person. I hope you’ll join me.
10 Anti-Takedown Rules for a Girl’s Girl
1. Every status update doesn’t require my weigh-in or snarky comment.
2. I’m doing my best as a mother and wife, so are you. Let’s accept this about each other. No family is the same. Everyone struggles. We are all unique snowflakes. I’ll support you, even if it isn’t something I would do.
3. I refuse to ever drunk dial a girlfriend again and gossip about another girlfriend. I hope you’ll join me, because I’ve heard what you’ve been saying about me and to me. You are guilty, too. Super. Guilty.
4. My husband is also not someone I can gossip to, even though I feel safe doing so… because gossip is gossip. Period.
5. This doesn’t mean I won’t have an opinion. It just means I will voice it on my terms, and not all over your Facebook wall (or behind your back) like a total asshole.
6. I never ever want to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings.
7. I won’t ignore you when you could use some help. Meaning, I will stand up for you. That’s what nice girls do for other girls.
8. If we have beef, I will tell you. It won’t be a secret (not that it ever was with me, you always know where you stand, but I won’t rehash it with anyone else).
9. I will be nice to everyone. EVERYONE. No more getting away with bad days, saying I have a bitchy resting face, or wearing my emotions on my sleeve. Being a bitch is not fair to those I encounter throughout the day, or my children, or my husband.
10. I’m going to listen more and talk less.
I want to be a great example of how a strong woman behaves for my daughter. It’s important to me.
If any of this hit a chord with you, or pissed you off, you probably should take a good hard look in the mirror. The truth hurts, and I’m glad Shaun Soleau pointed out the problem. It was me. I am the problem.
So will you join me? Will you also stop contributing to the takedown culture?