Sometimes you just yell things at the wrong times because it’s loud and stuff.

March 20, 2014

LARS: Mom, I forgot to tell you. I have to be at the school at 7 o’clock. It’s our Spring concert tonight. ME: Lars! It’s six-thirty! I just walked through the door, your sister is sleeping, and your brother is going crazy! This is how life goes at the Soleau house. We wing it. I [...]

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Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down for the information he wants.

March 6, 2014

Shaun Soleau is an excellent Mathematician. I can totally spell and define the word “mathematician”. Lars is now in the Fifth Grade. His Math class is getting really difficult. For me. Mom, we just touched on square roots today. Can you explain to me again how to find the square root of sixty-four? I forget what [...]

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A Sobering Look at the Art Of “Mommy Wars”

February 20, 2014

Mommy Wars: ˈmämē/ wôrs plural proper noun   1. one’s mother (chiefly as a child’s term) is in a state of conflict with another one’s mother about a certain ways of mothering things (specifically their children). In her mind, she’s clearly better than another one’s mother. These conflicts are typically released via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Babble, and/or [...]

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The Seven Year Itch VD Edition: How to save your marriage in five easy-peasy steps!

February 14, 2014

See what I just did there in the title? With the whole “VD” and “Itch” thing? You don’t know this, but about five months ago, Shaun and I were holed up in a Chicago hotel, trying to decide if we wanted to stay married. I’ll give you a minute to pick yourself up off the [...]

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Dear Meredith: How do I get the best deal at the car dealership?

February 11, 2014

Dear Meredith, When purchasing a new vehicle, how do you get the sales people to take you seriously? How do you best negotiate to get what you want and not end up thinking you’ve won, when you really didn’t get all you could have?  We’re going car shopping this coming weekend, and while I know [...]

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Karma

February 8, 2014

This morning, I stopped at Walmart for some random office supplies. For some reason, I asked for cash back when I checked out. I never carry cash. In the parking lot, a lady stopped me to ask if I had any money. Apparently her ex-husband didn’t show up to get the kids. He had promised her [...]

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Interview With A Tornado Tracker

February 4, 2014

Brandon Copic had no idea what he was getting into when he sat down in the driver’s seat for his test drive. He wasn’t aware of my internet fame, although I was well aware of his. My brain scrambled, and instead of going over the features and benefits of the vehicle on the test drive…I [...]

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Defamation Per Se

January 20, 2014

Ohio recognizes that certain statements constitute defamation per se. These statements are so egregious that they will always be considered defamatory and are assumed to harm the plaintiff’s reputation, without further need to prove that harm. Ohio has a broad definition of defamation per se. In contrast to most states, which limit defamation per se to three or [...]

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Dear Meredith: The Curious Case of the Guest Bathroom

January 13, 2014

Last week a reader asked me for some advice. I know what some of you are thinking. And you are so right! I DO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING! This is going to be so much fun! It’ll be like Dear Abby. Only drunker! *** Hey… Maybe you should have a thing on your blog called [...]

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Fake Arguments

January 8, 2014

Don’t you hate it when someone is crappy to you, and you walk away from that person, and then the best comeback ever comes to you? It happens to me all the time. Which immediately prompts a fake argument in my head. I fake argue with everyone. EVERYONE. I fake tell off customers when I walk [...]

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