On bumping into your husband’s ex-wife…

by Meredith on April 1, 2013

If you follow me on Facebook, then you already know. Last week, I ran into Shaun’s ex-wife.

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Apparently, you guys also thought it was awesome, and I feel like I owe you something more from this status update.

***

Just a little back story, a couple of years ago, she found Shaun on Facebook. She didn’t ask to be his friend. Instead, she sent him a Facebook message on New years Eve.

Happy New Years! I miss you. Let’s get together. I have a box of stuff that’s yours. I need to return it.

Shaun told me immediately. I flipped out on him, and then I flipped out hardcore on her.

I ended up sending her a barrage of messages about how he doesn’t need her. He doesn’t miss her. And furthermore, she is to never contact him again. They are divorced. They do not have children together. And that’s the end of it for them. No. More.

Their marriage ended when he came home early from work to find her in a compromising position on their couch. So… yeah. It did not end well. But they were young when they were married. We refer to this as his *air quotes* “Practice Marriage”.

Also, you should know, after the New Year’s Eve incident, I thought I saw her one time at Sam’s Club. Pushing a cart full of giant boxes of maxi pads and granola bars, I ran across the store to see if it was her. I don’t know what I was going to do, but I just wanted to see what she looked like.

Whoever this girl was, she saw me and practically ran out of Sam’s Club.

Okay, so back to the story.

***

It was last Monday night.

Our Super Nanny randomly wanted to take our kids home for the night, and of course, we totally agreed. With my parents living in Arizona now, it’s not often we get offers for all night babysitters.

We decided to go to dinner, someplace without a kid’s menu. This meant sushi.

I looked like this:

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Sorry about the crappy iPhone picture. You can’t really tell, but I had on a pink sequined wife beater, a grey sweater, blue jeans, and my new cowboy boots.

I looked sort of hot for a random Monday night date, which was good, because the dog and pony show was about an hour away from happening.

By the way, if I ever open a bar, I am going to name it  The Dog and Pony Show. Don’t go stealing that from me.

After sushi, we were driving home. We drove past a local watering hole, and I noticed my brother’s car in the parking lot.

Hey, that’s Brother’s Volkswagen!

Should we stop in for a drink?

Why not? We don’t have kids tonight. It’s like we’re in college! Squeeee!

When we walked into the place, I told Shaun to go look for Brother Michael in the pool table area, and I would order us drinks.

Within seconds, Shaun was back by my side. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

I don’t think your brother is here.

Oh. Weird. I know he has bowling league on Monday nights. Maybe the guys met here for a drink first, and he left his car.

Yeah. I need a drink. What’s going on with the drinks?

She’s making them. What’s wrong?

My ex-wife is here.

NO WAY! 

Yeah. I didn’t even recognize her. Like, not even a little bit. I just saw what my life could have been. Holy shit. HOLY. SHIT.

Shaun was pale, and looked sick. Which was making me feel super good.

So, I am looking around, and I hear someone say, “Hello, Shaun,” in this almost bitchy-sarcastic tone.

I turned around and said, “Hi,” and stared and wondered who this was, and then it hit me.

Oh my gosh! I am going back there!

No! Just stay here. She will leave. I am already weirded out. Maybe we should just leave.

Are you kidding me? Heck no! We are staying! I have been waiting for this moment! I want to know what she looks like! All I have to go off of is a crappy down-shot cell phone picture from two years ago.

I am not sure why Shaun agreed to let me have this moment, but he did. And holy smokes, you guys!

She went outside on the patio to smoke a cigarette. I felt a sudden urge to check the weather. I made Shaun go with me.

I. TOOK. HER. PICTURE.

RIGHT?!?!

But I had to do it. I had to send it to my mother and his mother.

Anyway, when we got out on the patio, I pretended to be nervous and shocked to see her. So I pulled out my phone, turned off the flash, and pretended to be nervously checking emails.

Okay, now before I show you guys this picture, I want you to know a few things:

1. I researched this. You can take a picture of someone without their permission at a bar.

2. She is not unrecognizable because of her weight. I have gained weight. We all do. She is unrecognizable because of how she is not taking care of herself. It isn’t good. She used to be very, very pretty. Now she just looks sloppy.

Okay. Are you ready to see her picture?

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APRIL FOOLS, MOTHAS!

Do you really think I am a mean girl?

I do, in fact, have a photo of her. She even said hello to me while we were out there. And I said hello back to her. And then she darted out of there. It was super uncomfortable.

However, I would never actually publish her picture.

Duh.

Anyway, it was awesome. And I am way super prettier, y’all!

It was basically the best date night ever.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Kim

Tease.

But good on you for not posting her picture, very classy. : )

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Kat

Kim – my thoughts exactly!

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Miss Lifesaver

I’m selfishly disappointed to say that you made the right decision. But, oh, what I wouldn’t give for a moment like that!!

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Stacey Parzik

So glad you remembered to turn the flash off! My friend was trying to do that “look like you’re sending a text but really want to take a picture of someone without them knowing it” (an 80s musician we saw at a party) and she forgot to turn her flash off LOL sooooo embarrassing! I don’t think he noticed, or he was classy enough to pretend he didn’t :)

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Kerrey

I. Waited. A. Week. To. See. That. Picture.
Enough with the class! Show the pic!

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Tara

You go, girl.

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Tawny

Well played Soleau.

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Robin Pridgen

Stunningly classy…And well done…

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Traci

I know deep inside I should say you handled that well and you are the better person for not showing the picture, but….I WANT TO SEE THE PICTURE!!

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Michael

Classy, yes; but that does nothing for my curiosity! Lol. You look way hot in that picture up there. Go you!

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chrisinphx

Way to spoil our fun and be the bigger person! You do look great in that pic btw

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Dana

I was scrolling but thinking “Don’t do it, Meredith”

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Jayme

LMAO! I knew you wouldn’t post it. You are such a better person than that ex. And hell yeah you are so much prettier! I don’t even have to know what she looks like to know that.

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erica

I was thinking wait what? Meredith wouldn’t post that. Good for you! I was totally holding my breath to see it though. :)

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Kana

D’aww, you got me so good! :P

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Kathy

I have been waiting nearly 4 years to “run into” my bf’s ex. I am pretty sure I would take the high road and only mass text the pic and not post it on fb. *pretty sure*
I think the best reply would be from his mom, who is super refined and sweet (a retired elem school teacher… The type that still gets cards from her former students, AND SENDS THEM CARDS BACK!! )( so, essentially , she’s nothing like me! Ha!)
But! I think she would have the best sneaky snarky reply, evahhhhh!
Someday! Fingers crossed!!:)

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Julia

Wonder if your mama will send it to me??? LOL- proud of ya girl! I was able to make Chris’ ex wife hate me in 2 seconds…new record!!!

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Amber

I guess I was the only one who couldn’t scroll fast enough?! Haha! Totally got me!

Good for you for being so awesome when you didn’t have to be! :D

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Elizabeth

I still remember the day I ran into my ex at the bar. He showed up with a very homely looking woman and I just happened to be there with my childhood sweetheart (who had just come back into my life after eight years of being apart). My now fiance just so happens to be an MMA fighter with a perfect body and a great personality too boot. Anyhow my ex saw me by myself got his drink and approached me. I said hello and got away from him as quickly as possible. My ex ended up outside to have a smoke when he felt the need to tell everyone in the smoking area about just what a bad/crazy/evil person I was. My fiance was out there and informed the jerk that he had known me since I was 8 and that I was the most lovely woman in the world. He also let him know he knew about the black eyes and the domestic abuse he had put me through (everyone knew) and if he ever even looked my way again he would beat him worse then he ever beat me. I wasn’t there to actually hear it but strangers were buying my love drinks all night because of it and my ex was practically run out of the bar by the masses. I’ve seen my ex from time to time in places and he keeps his head down and leaves the vicinity as quickly as possible.

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Megan

I know how you feel, my hubby’s ex wife is…well lets just keep it classy.

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cynthia

My name is Cynthia mebrala, am from maimi usa. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great Doctor brought my husband back to me, i had 3 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one qaurrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be stronge just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mINE was a small case and that i shouldnt worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawlling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great suprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.thats why i want to say a big thank you to Doctor Mugabe. This great man made me to understand that theres no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at karajahlovetemplesolution@gmail.com

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williams

I am Mrs Williams from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband kem Williams, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Marys, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss Lina and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called prophetekpen who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. Miss Lina ask me to contact the prophet. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise and very happy to see him coming back to me, I really appreciate and thank prophetekpen for bring my husband back to me, if you also having the same problem as i do before you can contact him through his Via email Address : prophetekpen@gmail.com

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sandra

thanks to Dr. AGBAGIE TEMPLE who help me to bring back my wife back, you can contact him on agbagietemple@gmail.com

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sandra

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