Last night I was out for my friend’s birthday.
This is my friend:
My friend is miserable at picking up chicks. Even on his birthday, he sucks at it.
So this morning, I called my friend. I wanted to give him some girl advice.
Hey, how’d you do last night? Did you close her down? I left. But it looked like you were bombing. You suck with the ladies.
I was bombing? How would you even know?
What do you mean? I was sitting there with all the married people, and we were watching all the single people, and you sucked the worst. It’s almost funny how terrible you are at picking up chicks. Actually, it’s sad. It’s really, really sad how awful you are with the ladies.
Again, how you would you even know? Because Bon Jovi came on, and you decided to take up the air guitar.
Oh, yeah! That cover band was amazing. But, listen to me, this is important. I know about girls. I am a girl. She was so into you! She was even touching your arm. You didn’t even pick up on it. And then I watched you go to the bar, and you didn’t bring her back a drink.
I brought her plenty of drinks last night. Again, you wouldn’t know, because you started an air band.
An air band?
Yes! You recruited all the married people, and you started an air band. I watched you hand the air guitar off, you found an air drummer, and then you took up air harmonica. You all looked totally ridiculous. Are your arms tired this morning? You guys were really rocking out.
Hahaha! My arms are a little tired this morning. But did you close it down last night with that girl?
Well, pal, then you will never experience the joys of being in an air band. Because air bands are reserved for people who don’t care what they look like anymore. And that’s the joy of being married.
The joy of being married is not giving a fuck what you look like in public?
Exactly. And at this rate, you’ll never be the air tambourine player in my air band.
He’s still single, ladies. Let me know if you’re interested.