Feet are stupid anyway.

//Feet are stupid anyway.

Feet are stupid anyway.

SHAUN: Your feet are disgusting, Meredith.

MEREDITH: I know. I need a pedicure. I haven’t had one yet because it’s been winter, and I am barely shaving my legs at this point in the year. 

SHAUN: No. For real. Yuck. Why do you pick at your feet? Stop it. Stop cutting your feet. It is so weird. Like, “I’m a cutter,” weird. 

MEREDITH: I know. Stop it! When I am stressed out, I like to pick at my feet.

SHAUN: That’s weird.

MEREDITH: Shaun! That’s enough! I am stressed out, and this is my thing. Tell me ten good things about my appearance right now!

SHAUN: Fine. Okay, so ten good things. You have a great rack. You have nice lips… in both places. I love your ass, and I love it even more when you don’t have a pair of Spanx on. Uh…. Your eyes! You have super pretty eyes. You look good in a dress… like, I love it when you wear a dress with cowboy boots. I like the way you laugh, it’s hot. You have good teeth. And even though you hate them, I like your knees.

*silence*

MEREDITH: That’s only, like, eight things, Shaun. I asked for ten.

SHAUN: Sorry. I got distracted by your feet again. You have really gross feet.

And then I chopped his wiener off.

THE END

Now quickly tell me something weird you do when you’re under a lot of stress, so I don’t feel weird about cutting the dead skin off my feet with a steak knife. And go…

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By | 2013-04-11T15:11:01+00:00 April 11th, 2013|Marriage|30 Comments

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30 Comments

  1. Mari April 11, 2013 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    Mine are more passive aggressive. If I want to restart the day I shower, even if I just showered 15 minutes earlier. If I want to forget the day, I just go to sleep and literally forget the day. This last one gets me into a whole lot of trouble.

  2. Tawny April 11, 2013 at 2:53 pm - Reply

    I pull at my eyebrows. Yeah.

    • Robin April 11, 2013 at 3:09 pm - Reply

      My husband does this too. There’s a name for it- trichotillomania.

    • Kathy April 11, 2013 at 6:06 pm - Reply

      My sister does that…. She has hardly any eyebrow hair. When she pulls it all out, she plays with her eyebrow ring, nonstop. She just twists and twists it to no end.
      She is a bit high strung! Lol!!

  3. Laura@Catharsis April 11, 2013 at 2:58 pm - Reply

    I bite my lip. Like, BITE IT UNTIL IT BLEEDS. And then they never heal because I’m stressed out all the time. And I don’t wear lipstick either, primarily because I have very fair skin and light eyebrows and look like a clown in lipstick, but also because how can I bite the shit out of my lips if I’m wearing lipstick? I’ll just get it all over my teeth, and that’s gross, right? So, yeah. Lip biting. AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

    • Jaime McLaughlin April 11, 2013 at 3:44 pm - Reply

      I do the same thing. I have a bump on the left side of my lip, and the right side is being gnawed on as I type. I used to bite my nails ( I know, super gross) until my sister in law started giving me acrylic nails. So now, it’s just lip biting.. like, all the time.

  4. Jennifer April 11, 2013 at 2:59 pm - Reply

    I do that exact same thing.

  5. Nuala Reilly April 11, 2013 at 3:03 pm - Reply

    I bite at my lip, I chew my nails, I pick/pull at my hair. Oh, and I stress eat carbs. Hows that??

  6. Robin April 11, 2013 at 3:08 pm - Reply

    My feet are super gross & I haven’t shaved my legs (or armpits) in a couple weeks. It helps that it’s all blonde. Less visible. When I’m stressed I rub my right ear. Sometimes I rub it so much that it creates a callous. I’ve done it since I was a baby. I have pictures.

  7. Megan April 11, 2013 at 3:12 pm - Reply

    I pick at my feet too!! WEIRD!!!

  8. Rachel April 11, 2013 at 3:19 pm - Reply

    I’m right there with the gross feet. I don’t remember ever having non-calloused feet. I don’t go after mine with a steak knife, I use cuticle nippers.

    My other weird things are digging at my cuticles on my thumbs until they’re just open wounds.

    Oh and I also do this weird zone-out concentrating thing. I stare off into space,take a very measured breath in, and slightly flap my hands. I’ve done it since I was at least 5. My pediatrician said I’d grow out of it. I’m now 32. WRONG AGAIN DR. BETKERUR. It’s not as noticeable now, because I don’t do the hand thing as much. My husband can hear me doing it in the passenger seat and shakes me to snap out of it.

    • Rachel April 11, 2013 at 3:20 pm - Reply

      So in other words, wanna hang out? I’m totally not creepy at all.

  9. Miss Lifesaver April 11, 2013 at 4:20 pm - Reply

    Maybe you should invest in a Ped Egg. The shaving would give you that same picking satisfaction with a much cuter result!

  10. Tina April 11, 2013 at 4:53 pm - Reply

    I pop non-existent pimples – on my boobs…. Like, I guess they are just soap and lotion clogged pores? But I squeeze until a little volcano erupts and then I have red blotches. It’s weird. I know.

  11. Tarah April 11, 2013 at 5:05 pm - Reply

    I tickle the inside of my forearm and then scratch it…weirdo!

  12. Lori April 11, 2013 at 5:31 pm - Reply

    I pull at my hair until strands fall out. Sometimes I don’t even know that I do it.

  13. Kathy April 11, 2013 at 6:02 pm - Reply

    I pick at my skin, I am a pimple popper! Don’t tell me how it spreads the pimples and blahhhh. If I am stressed, I will stare in the mirror and srsly pick at every inch of my face, or my boyfriends face, or my boys… And even if you are a complete stranger, I will obsess over any blemish or blackhead you have. I will physically restrain myself from not getting all up in your face and pop that shit!
    Also, sorry …. But cutting dead feet skin, with a steak knife … Made me puke in my mouth a little(lot). My bf bites his toenails. That is the most disgusting thing …. Ever:/

  14. Natalie April 11, 2013 at 7:00 pm - Reply

    I snap my fingers and pace. Drives people nuts but calms me!

    • Michael April 12, 2013 at 7:57 am - Reply

      I do this too! I try not to be too conspicuous about it at work, but I’m pretty sure everybody sees when I do it.

  15. Kristin April 11, 2013 at 9:01 pm - Reply

    I peel my toenails, unless I’ve had a pedicure and since its winter time it’s been a while and now I’m too embarrassed to go for one.

  16. Claudia April 12, 2013 at 7:29 am - Reply

    Yeah… Right there with the feet picking thing. My spouse thinks it’s gross as well but I’M SUPER STRESSED OUT!

    I also bite the skin around my nails (but not after touching my feet, come on) until it bleeds. Come to think of it, I should go back to fake nails.

    Oh, and I tickle the inside of my left elbow when I explain complicated stuff at work. I’m surprised I still have skin on my arm, actually.

  17. Heidi April 12, 2013 at 8:50 am - Reply

    I will take a small pair of scissors and clip off all the dead-ends, one by one. My hair dresser can always tell when Ive been stressed because my hair starts to get all uneven. Oh, and I chew on the inside of my cheek.

  18. farrar April 12, 2013 at 11:20 am - Reply

    I am a foot picker too, I get really dry heels and when they crack it drives my NUTS, so I pick until I can fit in a pedi

  19. Christina April 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm - Reply

    Yep, foot picker too. Swear I thought I was the only one. Really glad to hear that I am not alone. LOL. As for other things, it’s not a habit and I can’t control it but I get fever blisters on my lips. ALOT. Last week I had 5 on the top lip and 7 on the bottom. I look like that chick Lisa something with the really big lips but it’s not attractive. They hurt. And look horrible. Other things? I twirl my rings, cuss like a sailor, stomp like a two year old and furrow my brow until my eyes hurt. All kinds of craziness here.

  20. Cindy April 15, 2013 at 11:13 am - Reply

    I scratch at my skin until it scabs then I pick at the scabs until they are scars. Really bad habit. I used to rub a “nervous spot” on my scalp, but that was obvious and people could see it so I managed to stop (mostly).

  21. buttah April 15, 2013 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    I bite my lips or the inside of my cheeks. And then I make this crazy face when I’m biting the insides of my cheeks so I’m sure people look at me like I’m a nut. Then when I’m really tired I play in my hair/scratch my scalp.

  22. erica April 17, 2013 at 3:54 pm - Reply

    I bite my nails and my cuticles. I stopped for a few years but then I had kids and well it started back up again.

  23. Sheila April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm - Reply

    My husband cuts the skin off his feet with a steak knife too!!! And once I caught him useing the cheese shredder. Swear to God. I had to burn it.

  24. Nicolette May 1, 2013 at 3:00 am - Reply

    I feel really inspired by this to have so many confident women come forward with seemingly odd actions under stress. Makes me feel a bit connected about my own behavior. I pick CONSTANTLY at my nails, down the the almost bottom. Always have and have never been able to stop. When I’m not picking I tap my fingers on any surface around me as well.

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