Everyone’s a food critic.

by Meredith on May 19, 2014

Those chips are fattening. Are those on your diet?

 This is what a man said to me the other day, as I was eating a bag of chips from the vending machine.

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I responded by simply licking my fingers.

I shouldn’t have to explain my food choices to anyone, or even feel the need to explain them to anyone. Like, ever.

But to explain, the bag of chips was my dinner. I had missed lunch because I was busy selling all the cars. I was starving. So hungry, in fact, that I was hangry (hangry = hungry + angry). But even if I wasn’t hangry, I probably would have put those chips in my mouth. Why? Because I don’t care.

I’m not into fitness. Or diets. Or giving a shit.

Thinking back, another man used to say things to me like, “You sure like snacks!”

Yes, I sure do. They are delicious.

I got to thinking that maybe boys are just dumb. Maybe boys don’t know that girls don’t like comments about what we are putting in our mouths (that’s what she said).

And then it hit me, women are just as bad about this. If not worse. They are just more sneaky about critiquing food choices. And they just don’t critique your choices, they critique the choices of your entire family.

Women have said things like this to me:

You didn’t breast feed Lilah? Why?

Canned chicken is dog food. I would never eat chicken from a can.

Oh, I would love to eat a burger like you. You must be so confident in your own skin.

We never go out to eat. They cook with so much butter. It’s just so bad for your kids.

Oh no, my child never gets processed food.

Your kids sometimes buy school lunches? I only pack my child’s lunch. 

We would appreciate all parents bring snacks that are healthy. Like oranges and 100% juice boxes.

Everyone just needs to stop it.

It’s rude and offensive. I’ll worry about what I put in my mouth (that’s what she said), and you can worry about what you put in yours.

Has anyone ever made comments about what you’re eating?

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Charisse

WIFEY!!! Just yesterday. And it wasn’t even her comment. But her look. She is more fit than I am. She has a physically demanding job. Her boobs are not a SIZE FF! I digress. I wanted a bag of cheetos because I am starting my period and I hadn’t eaten breakfast and I just plain wanted them. She took them out of my cart and told me I didn’t need them. GGRRRRR

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Corrine

There is this guy where I work and he is often making little comments (the department often sits at the same lunch table) about my lunch. I often want to punch him for it. Since I work in HR I have resisted so far. It’s hard sometimes because I work for a large retail sporting goods/fitness company in their corporate headquarters where my body size is a minority.

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TLC

Once had someone asked me when my due date was. I looked them right in the eye and said, “Probably 9 months AFTER I get pregnant.” Can’t understand why they left so quickly….

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lex

In fairness, I have asked women about their breastfeeding choices because I genuinely want to learn more. My husband and are are planning on having kids very soon and I ask moms a ton of questions overall, sometimes even questions about breastfeeding like their reasons why they did or did not do it because chances are they will have some sort of information that I dont know and want to know.

As for the rest, I like butter on my grilled hamburger bun. It tastes really fucking good.

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Meredith

Oh, it is NEVER a new mom asking about breast feeding. It’s a die hard breast feeder, trying to make you feel bad. There is a difference.

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lex

Phew. I was starting to feel kind of guilty. Screw the die hard breast feeders. That is nonsense.

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Crista

As soon as I saw the title, I said to myself, “This is about the canned chicken.” I was appalled at some of those comments and I’m sorry I didn’t stick up for you :( . Canned chicken FTW, dammit!

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Meredith

Canned chicken pushed it.

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Suzy

+1 on the canned chicken. Seriously, it wasn’t a question if YOU liked it, it was a what to do with the rest of the can.

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Kitty

I had a boss who bought donuts for staff meetings. He always made the same announcement: “I got two apiece for the guys, One for Julie and none for Kitty because she doesn’t need any.” TOTAL JERK!

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Meredith

Holy. Mother.

I would have quit.

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Kitty

I did quit not too long after that!

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Hannah

Omg. I hate when people talk about my food. Even if it’s not judgey. Hate it. There’s a check at work who went on some super fit with with a trainer thing. She ate only raw fruits and veggies for like ten weeks. She makes comments to everyone about the food they ate and a till does. She only lost like twenty lbs and gained a lot back now. Slid rather be fat and happy than u fucking bitch to everyone around me.

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Josh

Oh my god, yes. I finally had to tell my wife, who’s mostly vegetarian, to quit commenting on what I eat. I told her I ate before I met her, and I’m still kicking; I won’t be made to feel guilty for eating what I want to eat, and I love crappy food. I can’t stand people commenting on my food…..

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Theresa

How many ways do I love thee let me count the ways……dude you just get me right here *clutches chest for drama*. Honestly I am ready to fire back shit because people like to try me about my choices that I like to make for me and my kids or question me why so me being me I will let the snark roll right out of my pie hole. If I am like no the kids can’t have dark pop let it be, the kids can’t have dark pop there is no need interrogate me because I seriously have my parenting basis covered.

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Michelle

Oh, I get comments All The Damn Time, but (don’t hate me) it’s for the opposite reason. I am hugely into fitness. It’s my “thing.” I love everything about it and it truly is my therapy. I am not a foody at all and eat super healthy because it makes me feel good. Period. That said, I never, and I mean NEVER comment on other people’s choices, and I honestly DO NOT GIVE A CRAP what other people do in this regard. I honestly don’t. I get comments all the damn time about what I’m eating, what I’m not eating, how I’m so “good,” blah blah blah. Good grief, who CARES????????

I don’t get it.

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Meredith

Yep. Totally goes both ways.

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Rachel

…..that’s what she said?

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Nuala Reilly

My sister.
I love that she is raising her family with whole foods and whole meal flour made things and health health health all over the place. And that’s cool for her. I have never judged her for that ever (even though some of her cooking is sometimes weird).
BUT
She has commented on what we eat to me a lot. Because I buy snacks for the kids and we drink pop and in my freezer there are chicken fingers and stuff. Hey, guess what? I also cook a lot from scratch and use spinach and garlic and onion in like, everything and love trying out new recipes. My kids try new foods all the time, but NO, she has to comment that we eat too much junk and maybe that’s why we all (the girls and I) have ‘body issues’ and are a ‘little heavy’.

Sorry, you made me feel rant-y back. Eat what you want I say. I do. And I don’t give a crap either.

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Meredith

That stinks, Nuala. Stand up the next time.

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Nuala Reilly

For some reason, even though she’s four years younger, I always have trouble doing that with her.

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Janell the Scorpio

On days I work, I get up at 3:30 am and make a conscience effort on my overall “look”. After a 12-13 hour day of serving coke and peanuts to the masses At 30,000ft I am beat. So, when you are deplaning, please don’t tell me I look tired. My own family doesn’t make rude comments like that.

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steph gas

trip them as they walk past and say, gee, that looks like it may have hurt. have a nice day!

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Carolynne

I recently was on the second leg of a flight, where I forgot to eat breakfast, and the layover was about 20 min, just enough time to grab a chicken pita wrap and fries (they said they were “healthy- so I felt good about my choice)… And tried to eat them quickly when I got on the plane before we took off. But noooo…the woman who was to sit next to me, came up to our aisle giving me this look of disgust. Yep. I’m not a small girl, but to see that LOOK…was hurtful. Then, miss pissy-face sat her skinny ass down and tried to inch her butt as far away from me as possible. Like being fat is contagious or something. Did I tell this Biatch that I am going through treatments for cancer that include a hella lot of steroids? Nope. I felt ashamed. I only ate half of that wrap and none of the fries. I felt disgusting. And mad at myself for allowing her to make me feel that way. Sometimes people suck. And sometimes I feel I need to learn how to just shrug it all off.

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steph gas

i sometimes look at how much food is on my plate and feel disgusting. not because it’s more food than anyone else has, but because i think that everyone thinks i’m fat and disgusting for eating. i don’t like eating in front of people i don’t know that well. large family parties are very uncomfortable for me because, being a fatty, i feel like everyone is watching how much i’m eating and judging it all. i know i’m not that important, but it’s hard.

at my engagement party, an aunt of my husband’s stopped me at the ice cream sundae bar my mother in law lovingly prepared for us (because we fucking love ice cream) and said, ‘i wouldn’t be able to eat that ice cream if i was going to wearing a wedding dress!’ i let her ruin what was left of my engagement party. and she was fat.

now she’s dead. she was old. she was fat and unhappy. and guess what? i’m fat and happy (most of the time) and people like that don’t get to monitor my diet and judge me.

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Eva

Commenting what you eat is in theory nobody’s business. But….
But sometimes, just sometimes you might have friends who are worried about you. But because this can be such painfull issue to talk about it, just how to do it.
So we are kind of used to use something like very mild comments, maybe just seeing if other person is ready to hear us out. Of course some of those comments can be mean and just serve for the person criticizing you to show off just how much better he thinks he is.

Then again, what if some of them genuinly cared for us (and i mean for our health). Just how should they address you without triggering your anger? That is not easy at all.
I know, I know, they cannot possibly imagine the situation behind or what is going on in your private life. But, what if they see something, we might be so blind to see by ourselves?

Mredith, you defended yourself by telling, that this was your first meal after breakfast (or maybe the first of the day). Thing is, that it is you yourself on the short end, because also you did the best you thought it was (working hard), you did mistreated your own body at the same time (skipping the lunch, and taking the fastest option instead of a good dinner).
So do not bother about the guy, but maybe think about the message a little (more like in terms, if you treat your own body properly for all the work it does for you) and what is more important for you and in long term also to your boss.

Every coin has 2 sides.

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