Shaun Soleau is an excellent Mathematician.
I can totally spell and define the word “mathematician”.
Lars is now in the Fifth Grade. His Math class is getting really difficult. For me.
Mom, we just touched on square roots today. Can you explain to me again how to find the square root of sixty-four? I forget what my teacher told us.
This sounds like that “New Math”. Go ask your dad.
I don’t remember how to do a square root. It’s sad.
Lars has stopped asking me for Math help. I contribute very little to his homework time these days.
LARS: Mom, they are teaching us to type. I have to type a half page book report on any celebrity. Will you help me?
ME: YES! Oh my gosh, Lars! I am so excited you came to me with this! Did you know I’m a writer? Did you come to me because you hear me talking to Daddy about my book?
LARS: Well, actually, I asked Dad first. He told me you’re the Grammar Nazi, and that you’d kill us if we didn’t include you. Anyway. I hope you’re better at this than Math.
And I hope he never finds this blog.
Without further ado, may I present the first draft of Lars’ first (ever) typed book report…
I don’t know what I love most about this.
Do I love how much attention this needs, and that he clearly needs my help?
Do I love the thought of passing down my gift of over-punctuating-everything?
Do I love his witty title?
Do I love his celebrity pick?
Or do I love how the last paragraph is simply filling the page (to the required half-way mark) with Chuck Norris jokes?
I think it’s the Chuck Norris jokes. You guys, MY KID IS FUNNY! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!