plural proper noun
1. one’s mother (chiefly as a child’s term) is in a state of conflict with another one’s mother about a certain ways of mothering things (specifically their children). In her mind, she’s clearly better than another one’s mother. These conflicts are typically released via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Babble, and/or via behind-one’s-back whispers.
A friend sent me a Babble article yesterday and asked me what I thought of it. CLICK HERE to give the once-over and come right back…. I’ll wait.
The article basically says that moms who drink alcohol, and then joke about it online, are ruining other mothers. Oh, and we may have drinking problems. Like, maybe we are turning into a bunch of alcoholics because it’s socially acceptable.
The article implies that when you, a mother, are drunk behind your computer screen (or if you’re pretending to be drunk) and posting about it online, the internet becomes a cesspool of blasted mommies. And while appearing to be a lush online for the sake of being funny… is actually funny… the teetotaler mothers may decide to drink (or at least joke about drinking) DUE TO PEER PRESSURE.
It’s all a little high school-ish. Don’t you think? Are we grown-ups, making our own decisions? Or are we fourteen-year-old girls who are worried about what our friends are wearing to Homecoming?
God forbid I bring home the bacon, fry it up, and then have a glass of wine with my husband. God forbid I have a terrible day at work, come home to a chaotic house, finally get those little rascals into bed (after they’ve gotten out of it five times), load the dishwasher, and sit down with my husband only to UNWIND WITH A DRINK. God forbid I then talk about it online with other women, who can totally relate, by posting a martini-in-hand selfie. God forbid the highlight of my day is this moment, with my husband, that hopefully leads to me getting laid later on in the evening.
Wait… Jesus turned water into wine. So maybe God didn’t forbid it. Maybe we should stop acting like judgy little brats and let God be the judge of our online and offline behaviors.
I have a theory about all of this and it boils down to one simple idea:
As women, we are constantly waging Mommy Wars.
And it’s not limited to drinking or not drinking.
Do you even know how much crap I caught about not breastfeeding my daughter, being a working mother, and having a nanny? OH THE SHAME! HOW DARE I SUPPORT MY FAMILY AND GIVE THE GIRL THE FORBIDDEN FORMULA!
If we all had a penis, we wouldn’t even be having these sorts of conversations. If we all had a penis, we would be sitting on the couch, watching Sports Center, scratching our balls, and holding an IPA beer.
And no one would say shit about it.
We’re becoming a bunch of mean girls.
My daughter will grow up knowing that no mother is perfect – but we try our best. Will your daughter know that? Or will you breed another generation of this crap? Will you thrust her into motherhood thinking it’s all white picket fences? Will you tell her when it’s not all white picket fences, she should not talk about it to her Facebook friends?
Stop it with the Mommy Wars.
What do you think? Am I right or wrong on this? Are we waging constant Mommy Wars to make each other feel less than perfect?